Help?

Ok, so I'm a big loser who, apparently, likes to put up posts on a daily basis now. Oh well.

This is actually a serious question. I've started reading a book today, and it's really been good for me. Convicting and motivating and all. But I have a question for those of you who attend (or have attended) a church that they like a lot. What about a church makes it good (sorry, good is a loose term, but it's all I've got right now)? I really want to find one that I like; that fits me. But other than prayer and God's direction, what about a church lets you know its value?

I guess I should attempt to explain why I feel so lost in this search. My church here at home is. . . very small town. A bunch of old people. Very few elements of it make it seem real; ever. It just seems dead to me. It may work for other people, but not me.
At school my freshman year, I began going to a church that I actually looked forward to going to. I loved hearing the pastor. It was the first time I'd ever heard a pastor talk that didn't literally make people fall asleep in the pews. The church as a whole was not that great (worship, welcome/acceptance), but I really liked the pastor. Then he left, so I left.
I've been going to a church at school that makes me comfortable in their size and traditions, since they are similar to what I'm comfortable with, but I don't know. . . This book has just created a longing in me for more. I don't know what more I'm wanting. Which is why I'd like to hear your input. I don't really know who else to go to with these type of questions other than my peers, since I don't have a mentor or anything like that. I don't know. I just want more.

Happy Christmas

So this has abolutely nothing to do with Christmas, but oh well. Deal with it. :~)

Ok, so I care entirely way too much what other people think of me. I tend to also let what other people think of me rule how I think of myself and act and such. I care a wee little bit that this may end up coming off as conceited, but I assure you, this isn't from a spirit of pride. More of. . . surprise.

These past few days, I have honestly thought of myself as pretty/attractive/whateveradjectiveyouchoosetoyourliking. I know the different adjectives can convey a different form of. . . attractiveness, but I don't think I really honestly applied them to myself. People have said it to me, but I don't think I really believed them. Ok, well, I'm sure there have been points where I've thought it, but this seems different. Other times were because of special occasions or special apparel, or because others have told me so (guys). This is different because I think it. Independently.

It's so weird for me. It's kind of thrilling to look in the mirror and not be disappointed or disgusted or whatever. I'm not used to it. Instead of just being fine with what I see because I have no other choice, I like it. >sigh> (the good kind of sigh) I don't know what else to say. I can see comments coming such as, "Sica, you are beautiful, inside and out" (Pam, I love you, but I could see that reaction.) And it's not that I haven't been told that. I just never beleived it. I think I do now. :~)

Have a wonderful Christmas and enjoy the rest of your break!!

Another one I hope doesn't make much sense. Just needed to get it out. . .

I'm a little worried. Usually, I fall two weeks after him. What if I have to deal with that next? I can't imagine. Even though I feel so far along, that would hurt. I wish he didn't have to hurt so much. I wish there was something I could do to ease the acceptance. I wish I had been available when he needed it. It hit him as depression. "God, I don't want to go through that (again?) Again, God, I just ask for comfort. Help him feel Your hug." I don't know what else I can say. There's nothing, really, I can do. I really hope I can be a good friend. And I really hope I don't follow. . .

Drat

So I had some things to write about, but I forgot my username, so I have forgotten most of it in the time it has taken me to remember how to get here.

1) I went Christmas shopping today. I normally despise shopping with every bone in me, but I went with Betsye, and we had a pretty good time. We danced like fools in front of stores like Hollister and Abercrombie that blare their music onto poor passers-by. We did other really fun things. I'm glad Betsye made the experience endurable.
2) I got a Spanish Bible today for only 2 dollars!! I was so shocked at the cheap-ness. I got it in hopes of sending it somewhere in Central America where it's needed. That makes me think of and long for Honduras.
3) I have now been in a Macy's store. I've seen the commercials, but I've never been in one. Yay for new experiences. (It wasn't that great.)
4) Ok, so I'm tired, and cannot think of the other wonderful things I was going to say. So I guess this is the end.

Oh! And 5) After not 2 whole days of being home for break, I watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on tv with commercials. Yeah, I've pretty much been a bum. Today, I was actually in the mood to watch them again. Betyse has the extended version. Maybe I'll borrow that. . . Now, that's all I have to say. :~)

Haha. Nice follow up to the last "falling" post. . .

So I went to do backflips tonight. It was going great. Then, on one of the last attempts I tried, I landed funny on my arm, and apparently, I've strained the tendons in my elbow. First time I've ever really been hurt. Yay for new experiences. :~) It's difficult to do things like wash my face and anything that requires 2 hands, and it doesn't help that I'm not remotely left handed. So now, I'm kind of gimpy.
Randy, the guy who's coaching me, felt really guilty since it was one of the times he basically had me do it all on my own. The two guys who were there switched into "Care Mode". It was cute in a big-brother kind of way. Yup. So that's my story. Just thought I'd explain for those who hadn't heard yet.

To no one.

I'm falling again. But I'm so afriad to do so. I trust so easily in most circumstances. But now, it's different. Not only could I be (and probably am) wrong, but what if I'm right? Is it wrong to allow that possibility into my head? I don't even know. I feel like I'm falling, being pulled into it, but I can't tell if it's on purpose. I'm trying to claw my way back up; or at the very least, hold where I am at. But in the same breath, I relish the idea of falling. Oh, to trust again.

I kind of hope this is vague. Not only do I not know if it's harmful to think about it, I don't want others to know. I think I need sleep.

Little Random Things

So I was really enjoying the gorgeous frozen trees. But now they are all melting/melted. On top of that, they're also cutting down the fallen branches. They cut the entire tree from in front of Janssen. (There's a good possibility that's spelled incorrectly.) I felt really bad for the squirrels. They were really enjoying playing amongst the huge downed branch in front of Snyder. Sad day for them.

I did back flips last night. It was amazing. I did some back tucks and back handsprings. All with the help of my coacher and spotter, but he said he wasn't helping that much by the end of the back handsprings. I'm so excited. Today, though, I am unbelievalby sore. My abs hurt so much. I love it. :~) Yay for physical activity.
So I don't know what else to say. Just random-ness.

Oh, and I looooooooooovvvvvvvvvvve Hershey's Extra Dark, Pure Dark Chocolate. It's one of God's little reminders that He loves me.